


kissing frogs

by businessboyjared



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Dirty Talk, Jealousy, M/M, Phone Sex, eddie is allowed to be a little jealous, his bf is a slut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:08:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23398969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/businessboyjared/pseuds/businessboyjared
Summary: The host leans in closer to Richie, and Eddie sucks in a sharp breath. Richie chuckles good-naturedly, and then they're kissing. The live audience goes crazy for it, whistling and hollering like it's a fucking circus. Eddie's eye twitches watching them.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 22
Kudos: 294





	kissing frogs

**Author's Note:**

> yes i did see the vid of [andrew garfield kissing stephen colbert](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbyhbLR0u0A) and thought "richie would do this for two reasons: he likes attention, and he likes eddie's attention" so please enjoy

On a normal night, Eddie's usually in bed by the time any of the late night talk shows air. He doesn't really get why people watch them at all, honestly, it's just stupid games and stories that the host already has notes on, in order to help guide them through it until a commercial break. It's stupid.  
  
But then he sees Richie appear from behind two big velvet curtains, and Eddie has to keep himself from sighing wistfully like a teenager. He's alone, sitting on their couch in his pajamas, and TV Richie grins at the audience and waves his two big hands at everyone before the host pulls him into one of those straight guy half-handshake, half-hug things. Eddie snorts out a laugh watching Richie fumble a bit but ultimately he sticks the landing.  
  
He's not even really listening to the "conversation" Richie's having with the host. Eddie's too busy _looking_ at him. Admiring his hair. Smiling at the way he pushes his glasses back up his nose with one finger, like a total nerd. It's not often that Richie wears a suit, even for important events, but tonight he's wearing a plain black one that frames his shoulders and hugs his thighs so fucking perfectly. His rainbow-striped tie _and_ socks are completely ridiculous, but seeing them makes Eddie smile, too.  
  
They cut for a commercial, and Eddie sends Richie a quick text.  
  
_cute socks, Dick_

Eddie knows, logically, that Richie's in his hotel room right now and not actually on a late night set. But the idea of it is a little thrilling, at least.  
  
**awww ur watching?? miss me that bad huh** **😘**  
  
_yes. shut up_  
  
**not sure if it made it to air but there's something i should tell u** _  
  
_Eddie furrows his eyebrows at that, but before he has a chance to text back, the commercials end and Richie's back on his TV. God, he really does look good—the smattering of gray that's started to appear recently in his stubble catches the stage lights just right, and if Eddie were hornier he might think about how it makes Richie's jawline look like glittering diamonds or some shit.  
  
The host makes a terrible transition from an anecdote to promotion, and talks to Richie about his new special. They play a clip of it, one where Richie makes a joke about how kissing women as a closeted gay man was like kissing frogs and hoping for a prince, literally. It's not Eddie's favorite joke, but it's good enough to get people interested in watching the special.  
  
"So if it's just women who are frogs, does that mean every man you've kissed has been a prince?" The host teases.  
  
"Nah, those men are frogs too! It just means I have a frog kissing fetish." The audience laughs a little too wildly. Eddie's surprised Richie didn't say something cheesy, like how Eddie is the only prince for him or whatever the fuck. He rolls his eyes just thinking about it. But he's definitely blushing a little, too.  
  
"Well, I've been told by many ex-girlfriends that my lips are, quote, _frog-like_ and _clammy_." The audience laughs again, and the host leans in closer to Richie, and Eddie sucks in a sharp breath.  
  
Richie chuckles good-naturedly, says something like "I'm sure that's not true," and then they're kissing. The live audience goes crazy for it, whistling and hollering like it's a fucking circus. Eddie's eye twitches watching them. It's nothing lewd, there's no tongue or anything. Not that Eddie can see, anyway. Just lips. But when they part, Richie leans forward quickly to steal one last kiss, and that's what makes Eddie's heart jump into his throat.  
  
Richie _always_ does that with Eddie. And Eddie _always_ acts annoyed about it, but of course he loves it. It makes him feel wanted, like Richie can't get enough of him, like they're always on the same page of the same book titled _I'm Forty-Something Years Old And Always A Little Bit Hard For My Fiancé_ _No Matter What_. Eddie has a sudden, selfish thought that he never wants Richie to steal a kiss from anyone else but him ever again.  
  
There's some more teasing and cajoling as Richie's segment wraps up, and Eddie watches the way his tongue darts out to wet his lips for just a second. He wants to kiss him until all Richie can taste is Eddie, and not that fucking asshole host's froggy mouth.  
  
The show ends and transitions into yet another talk show, and Eddie sits there trying not to grit his teeth. His phone rings, and he picks up without looking at the call ID. He knows it's Richie.  
  
"Eddie, did you ignore my texts on purpose, or what?"  
  
"Not on purpose, I was just watching!"  
  
"Oh, I see. You got distracted because I looked so handsome." Richie teases.  
  
Normally Eddie would lovingly tell him to shut up, but he's feeling sort of keyed up right now. "I did. You looked very handsome, Rich. You know I love it when you wear a suit."  
  
Richie makes a little choked sound over the phone. He's always so modest, it's infuriating. "Y-yeah,"  
  
"Did you change out of it already?" Eddie asks, trying to sound casual but the husk of his voice gives him away.  
  
"Edward Kaspbrak, are you asking me what I'm wearing?"  
  
"Yes, and just to spell it out even further, I wanna have phone sex with you right now." Eddie palms himself over his sweatpants and then laughs a little when he hears Richie whine.  
  
"I'm just in my boxers right now, this hotel room's a fucking furnace, but I'll change if you want me to, Eds, I swear to god—" Richie rushes out in one desperate breath.  
  
"No, it's fine, jesus." They're both quiet for a moment, and it's nice just to hear each other breathe. Richie's only been gone for one day, and he'll be back in the morning, but he really fucking misses him. "Are you touching yourself?"  
  
"Do you want me to?"  
  
Eddie hums. "I don't know. Do you think you deserve to after that little stunt you pulled tonight?"  
  
Richie gasps at his harsh tone. "Eddie..." He whines.  
  
"I can't believe you kissed him," Eddie mutters. He pushes his sweatpants down to his thighs, and when he squeezes his dick over his underwear he makes sure to hiss loud enough for Richie to hear. "You leave town for one day, and..." He decides to switch gears. "Are my kisses not good enough for you, honey?" He teases, and Richie lets out another high-pitched whine. Eddie can practically see him kicking his feet against the bed like he does when he wants to be touched.  
  
"No! Eddie, please, I love when you kiss me... Miss you," Richie pleads.  
  
Eddie feels his heart swoop a little at that. He misses Richie so much. But maybe he wants to be a little mean about it, too. Just a little. "Do you miss me? Because you looked like a..." He bites his lip. He _knows_ what Richie likes in bed, but when they do it over the phone Eddie always feels like he's one word away from ruining the mood. "You looked so desperate for it, Rich. Like a... You're such a slut—"  
  
Richie cuts him off with a low moan, and it gives Eddie the boost to keep talking. He's hardly even touching his own dick, he's too focused now on getting Richie all worked up.  
  
"Yeah, you like it, baby? You like being a slut?"  
  
Richie hums and says, "Only for you, _fuck_ , Eddie... can I please—Can I touch myself, I'm so fucking hard for you, _god_ ,"  
  
Eddie breathes in sharp at that. "You can, if you tell me what you're thinking about."  
  
"Eddie, it's been one day and I have already had so many sexual fantasies I feel like my dick's about to explode," Richie says dramatically, and then Eddie hears him moan quietly and he knows he's touching himself. "I miss watching you argue with my manager about the hotel room I get put up in."  
  
Eddie laughs incredulously. " _That's_ what you're thinking about? You're so weird. And you're like, definitely famous enough to get better rooms, Richie, I don't know why you put up with that shit—"  
  
Richie teases him with a fake pornstar moan and Eddie rolls his eyes. He feels his dick twitch under his hand like a traitor. "Oh, yeah, baby, talk more about how famous I am, gets me so _hard_ , ugh!"  
  
Eddie ignores him and just says what's on his mind instead. "I wish I went with you. I would've fucking... taken you backstage, choked you on my dick if I'd seen your segment live."  
  
"Jesus _fuck_ , Eddie, yes—"  
  
"You want me to fuck your mouth, baby? I'll let you lick all over my cock, so the only thing you taste is me." God, when did his brain get so _possessive_? It feels so unlike him, but he can't fucking help it, he just... _wants._ Through the phone, Eddie can hear Richie's hand moving faster over his dick and it makes his mouth water.  
  
"You taste so good, _please_..."  
  
"And you'd forget all about that dickhead host, wouldn't you?"  
  
"Oh my _god,_ Eddie, I fucking—" Richie huffs and it sounds like his hand slows to a stop, and for a second Eddie thinks he might have brought that guy up one too many times.  
  
"Sorry, was that too much? I'll shut up."  
  
"No! Don't ever shut up, Eds, god, I love when you're—when you get jealous. It's really fucking hot, Eddie, you're so hot. I almost busted right there, _jesus._ " They laugh a little and take a much needed breather. Eddie relaxes further into the couch and slips his hand into his briefs. Richie must know this, somehow, and decides to pick things back up. "Wish you were touching me right now."  
  
"Yeah? Where do you want me to touch you, Rich?"  
  
"Everywhere. My thighs."  
  
Eddie hums and starts to stroke himself slowly. "That's a good place to start. I fucking love your thighs, you know that." He closes his eyes to conjure up images of Richie's perfect thighs: the hair that just gets thicker and more unruly as he kisses up from his knees. The way the fat of them squishes and spreads when Richie's laid out on the couch, or their bed, or the side of their pool. Eddie thinks about the way Richie squirms when he sucks and bites at the sensitive flesh of them, closest to his groin. "You want me to mark them up?"  
  
Richie groans. " _Yes,_ always. I want your mouth on them."  
  
Eddie's hand speeds up thinking about getting a mouthful of Richie's thick thighs. "I'll bite all over them, baby. You don't want me to touch your cock?"  
  
"N-no, you should—I want you to make me wait, want you to get off first."  
  
"Yeah, you want me to tease you? Touch you everywhere til you're begging for my hand around your dick?"  
  
" _Fuck_ , Eddie, want you to fuck my thighs, I'd beg you for it," He whines.  
  
Eddie groans loudly and strokes himself faster. "Oh _god_ that's fucking hot, Richie. I'll fuck your thighs so good. You on your knees for me, or your back?"  
  
"My back... want you to—to come all over me. All over my dick, get it all messy."  
  
"God, you'd look like such a whore." Eddie stops to spit into his hand, and Richie moans so loudly at the sound of it that his voice cracks. "Your thighs would be so tight around my cock, baby. So fucking soft. You'd feel so good, _shit_ —"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, use me, baby, f-fuck...!" Richie gasps sharply and then moans low and deep, like he got punched in the stomach. Eddie strokes himself faster, wishes he could see Richie's face as he comes.  
  
"Fuck, Richie, you sound so good... I'm almost there, _ah_ —"  
  
"C'mon Eddie, give it to me," Richie says into the phone, low and dirty right into Eddie's ear. "Fucking come on me, on my thighs, _please_ —"  
  
" _Richie_ , oh fuck, I'm there, a _h_ —!" Eddie gasps and his hips jerk up off the couch, come spurting onto his hand and the bottom of his shirt. He can hear Richie talking him through it, muttering praises and _i love yous_ in his low, soothing voice.  
  
"Shit," Richie finally says when Eddie's brain is back in place. "Can we do that for real when I get home tomorrow?"  
  
Eddie laughs at him and wipes his hand on his shirt, because fuck it, it's one of Richie's anyway. "Um, yeah, obviously. That was fucking hot."  
  
" _You're_ fucking hot, Eddie, jesus. Should I keep kissing slimy talk show hosts if it gets you this riled up?"  
  
"Oh, fuck off," Eddie smiles shyly. "You know I don't like to share."  
  
"Lucky me," Richie teases, and Eddie can practically see his eyebrows raise suggestively. He sighs.  
  
"It's like, stupid how much I miss you right now. I stayed up to watch the show tonight because I couldn't even fall asleep without you snoring in my ear."  
  
Richie barks out a laugh. "Yeah, and how am _I_ supposed to sleep tonight without you here to kick the shit out of me with your fucking powerful, sexy donkey legs?"  
  
"That was _one_ time and I woke up right away and apologized!"  
  
"Yeah, because you kicked me right in the dick and I howled like a fucking coyote!"  
  
Eddie just starts laughing harder and concedes defeat. "Fine, whatever. You better get home in one piece tomorrow so I can kick the shit out of you."  
  
"Ooh, promise?"  
  
"Promise. I have to go now, my come is starting to dry on your Gonzo shirt."  
  
"What?! Which one?"  
  
"Okay, the fact that you need me to specify...?! You have too many Gonzo shirts." Eddie tries to make himself sound as exasperated as possible, but it's really hard when he's cruising on this post-orgasm bliss. Richie cuts him off with another loud laugh and god, Eddie loves him so much it's ridiculous. "This one's destroyed, I hope you've made peace with that."  
  
"No, keep it! I wanna commemorate the time you got _so_ hard watching me on TV that you just couldn't resist begging for phone sex—"  
  
"Alright Dick, I'm hanging up now."  
  
"Wait, Eddie!"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I've kissed lots of frogs in my lifetime, but you're the only prince for me." Richie says, and Eddie can hear the big, stupid grin in his voice.  
  
"You are so lame," He says, even with a hot blush all over his cheeks. "Good night."  
  
"Good night, Eds."


End file.
